Yesterday a person I knew was sentenced to life in prison. After the gospel meeting last night, I overheard a preacher and an elder discussing the sentence. The preacher was frustrated because of the life sentence and not the death penalty. I wanted to say "But I knew the guy." I remained silent.
Two minutes ago, two colleagues commented on the situation and was dismissive to the murderer and a former colleague who publicly supported the murderer. Their conclusion was "We didn't really know the guy, and we have to move forward." I remained somewhat silent.
Friday was the anniversary of April 16th. Since that day, there has been a camp who believes we have to move forward. Some want to move forward with respect. Others just want to move forward. Others want to continue to remember.
I don't know what I want.
Christianity and religion in general requires discipline. It requires punishment. It requires moving forward. It requires being intentional. It requires struggle. But it also requires love, compassion, forgiveness, and peace.
Unfortunately since Friday, I have been in a funk. The previous paragraphs get into some of it. I can't break from the past, but I can't embrace the future either. This dilemma disallows enjoying the present. And the present is all that matters.
Heavenly Father,
Guide me as I struggle with the world,
Show me Your ways,
Ease my pain,
Help me learn from the past,
Help me enjoy and achieve in the present,
So I can embrace the future,
Help me balance discipline and love,
Help me balance punishment and forgiveness,
Help me be intentional while also being compassionate,
Lord, help me live a life of repentance,
And forgive me for my many failures,
Help me to trust in Christ,
Because through Him I can do all things,
It is in His name I pray,
Amen.
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